LORDI- THE AROCKALYPSE
I hate Kiss. I hate Kiss even more when they dress up like GWAR and feature guest vocals from Dee Snyder.
RATING: ONE STAR
NAZANIN- SOMEDAY (BodogMUSIC)
In today’s pop-princess world of disgustingly man-ish teens(Brooke Hogan) and filthy cum dumpsters (Paris Hilton), Iranian-Canadian Nazanin is a breath of fresh air. She seems to be everything the others are not: attractive, seemingly intelligent, and while the others are busy with competitive dick sucking or working on their rock/hip hop cred, she’s been working with amnesty international and receiving awards from the united nations. Suck it Kelly Clarkson.
RATING: TWO STARS
THE PHOENIX FOUNDATION - HORSEPOWER (Young American Recordings)
Cosmic! Dreamy! Neat-o!
RATING: FOUR STARS
THE SAPS- C’MON ALREADY- START A FIRE (Self release)
Dear Saps,
You sound like Ace Ventura with The Muppet Baby Choir behind you. I’m not sure if that’s good or not. I think you excite me--I’ll get back to you on that.
RATING: THREE STARS
SJ ESAU - WRONG FACED CAT FEED COLLAPSE (Anticon Records)
The music shifts from quiet acoustic passages to lively indie rock with ease, while The varied instrumentation of the album never comes off as starbucks chamber pop, sticking in mostly lo-fi territory. The overall sound and feel draws influences from all the bands you\'re supposed to like, but maintains its own brilliantly mish-mashed identity.
RATING: FOUR STARS
TEMPLE OF BRUTALITY- LETHAL AGENDA (Demolition Records)
Genius. Pure fucking genius. This band has done what the rest of the Metal World can only dream of- I can do nothing but speculate on the exact recipe for this masterpiece: One part shitty metal band (like, “I live in my mom’s basement-shitty”), two parts Cookie Monster eating Glen Danzig’s ass-vocals, and lyrics with a dash of vague, sub-sophomoric generalizations about war and government. There is a god, and its glorious name is Temple of Brutality!!!
RATING: ZERO STARS
VARIOUS ARTISTS- THISISH VOL. I (Thisish)
This comp features up-and-coming NY beat makers (overseen by Large Professor). A fantastic exercise in old and new, it makes for a fantastic and extremely long playing disc of instrumental hip-hop. Highlights feature a guest appearance by the incomparable Donald Rumsfeld. Personally, it’s a perfect distraction from my workdays with Uncle Sam, and it’s quickly becoming an invaluable tool in drowning out the incessant banter of my cunt of a supervisor.
RATING: FOUR STARS
DVDS:
VARIOUS ARTISTS- SCREAMING MASTERPIECE (Milan Productions)
Interviews and performances from Iceland’s premier acts, combined with beautiful imagery make for a fine documentary/concert film. Stand out acts include Mum and Slowblow, as well as a stellar version of “All Is Full of Love” by Bjork. Fans of Bjork and Sigur Ros owe it to themselves to check out some of the other fine acts from the country.
RATING: FOUR STARS
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