RANDOMNESS

I don't really have an article this month. I have a list. Because there are lots of things on my mind, and I really don't have the attention span to elaborate on them.
1. Did you ever stop and think how weird it is that Jesus is born a bouncing baby boy in December, only to die four months later as a thirty-some-year-old man, and then come back from the dead, all-powerful, three days later? That's pretty sweet.
2. Where are these cheese sandwich-eating, water cooler-loving, nasal-voiced white folk who don't understand that when you say you're going to break, you need to break?
3. Whatever happened to Richard Marx, and why hasn't he put out a new album?
4. If I'm wearing Degree brand deodorant, which is body-heat activated, and I stand next to a sweating, stinking mess of a human being, will the deodorant's awesome powers help that smelly brother out?
5. Just because I relied on pulling out, does that necessarily make the kid mine?
6. Why haven't Dick Ruhl and Tom Raper gone into business together? I have some really cool company name ideas.
7. Would someone please kill Randy Newman before Disney makes another gay movie?