ON THE SEVENTH DAY, GOD CREATED THE TAP

Since I’ve broken free from that pathetic excuse of a marriage I was in, I’ve realized things about myself and the world that I never had before. It’s amazing when you are in such a horribly deep and negative rut, then emerge from it and get put back into a positive mind-set. I feel like for the past ten months I’ve been sitting on the toilet, straining. Finally, I heard that wonderful “bloop!” and looked in the toilet only to see my ex-husband floating around, waiting to be flushed away forever. Aaahhh, a sigh of relief. Now I can get back to life and doing things for myself. I’ve given rebirth to my passion for writing. I’ve realized that I can play the guitar. I now have more interests in other activities besides sitting on the couch with a pizza and watching MTV’s The Real World. I’ve widened my palette of musical taste. I now catch myself buying CD’s by Twisted Sister, Kiss and Van Halen; bands I never could have seen myself rocking out to before! I’ve let my true personality and character free again. A character that is happy with life and open to experiencing many new things. Ah, yes. I’ve come a long way, and I thank the good Lordy above for making me see the light. But I must give him even higher praises for introducing me to one of the best things in the world: the ever-so-wonderful SPINAL TAP! Are there any funnier or more rockin’ bands out there that have totally dominated both music and the silver screen? No! The movie makes me roll on the ground with laughter. Sometimes I laugh so hard I think I might shit! Most of my friends and family (and probably most of you reading this article) probably think I’m a total freak. But screw you! Christopher Guest, who plays Nigel Tufnel, is such a Hottie McHotpants that every time he picks up a guitar, I think I might explode! I’m going to see Spinal Tap perform in June in Vegas and I honestly don’t know if I’m gonna be able to handle seeing Nigel on stage with that “armadillo in his trousers.” I may just freak out! There really is no point to this article anymore. I just want to let everyone know how much Spinal Tap rocks and that Christopher Guest is a fucking babe! Jamie Lee, you are one lucky mutha-fucka! Holy ball-sack, I love those guys!