Wal-Mart may be rolling back the prices, but every time I leave one of their stores I feel like I have to roll back the layers of flesh filth that cling to my body with every visit.

Dear Franklin,

I really love my boyfriend, but try as I may, I cannot do anything to improve his hygiene! Please tell him that deodorant is not something that is optional, and that not using it is definitely unsexy!

Tolerant in Toledo,

SCOTT BURDICK IS AN INFLUENTIAL AND TRADITIONAL PAINTER WHO TRAVELS TO MANY PLACES AROUND THE WORLD IN SEARCH OF HIS SUBJECT MATTER. DAS BORK GOT TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT HIS RECENT EXPERIENCES IN TIBET AND GOT A LITTLE INSIGHT ON HIS APPROACH TO OIL PAINTING.