BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE
review by darby o'gill

Now, shit bitch. I've been saying it for years that Disney is the devil-to-the-izzo. But, I truly want to know what they's got on my homie, Steve Martin, yo. He, by far, is one of the tightest actor/comedian/writers of all time. True dat, dog! But good God, my homie does some shitty films sometimes! Damn! Bringing Down the House was one of the biggest pieces of shiz-nit I've ever had to sit through! Brotha got to take a Rolaid just to get through the opening credits! As whack as the movie was, Martin gives an off-the-hook performance. How do these things happen, holmes? How can someone so gifted and talented agree to make such an obvious piece of shiz-nit! I don't know about you, bro, but the second I heard Queen Latifah's name, I would have been running like a motherfucker for them hills, ya’ll! That, or firing my agent. Shit, man! Leave it to Dizney to come up with this shiz-nit. Man, I want to take Michael Eisner to Oz (the prison) and show him what a brotha can do with a spoon! Punk-ass bitch! This experience was so traumatic, I had to go see my docta. You know my docta? Docta Miller? He gots a MGD. He prescribed me two 40 oz. and a six-pack, and assured me that after I took the medication, I would have no recollection of this horrible movie. He also assured me I'd stop talking jive. Well, it's time to take my medicine. Peace out, bitch!