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You know you want us.
Who are we to deny you of that pleasure? |
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Insane
Wayne Chinsang, Editor-In-Chief/Interviews
In a world of Japanese Elvis impersonators, only
one has the Destro-like, iron-fisted chutzpah
to drive the creative Buick that is tastes
like chicken. His name is Wayne.
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Vinnie
Baggadonuts, Entertainmental Section Editor
Vinnie once saw a dinosaur eat an old lady in
broad daylight. You really don’t mess with
dinosaurs so much after seeing something like
that.
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Night
Watchman, Pen & Think/Artwork Editor
Night Watchman can fly. Like a bat. I’ve
seen him. It’s creepy.
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Watchman |
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Fphatty
Lamar,
Stories & Articles Section Editor
Fphatty rhymes with “Natty,” as in
“Gann.” As in “The Journey
of Natty Gann”, as in “Is the
chick in that Natty Gann movie a chick or a dude?
I can’t tell.”
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Staff
Member #716, Stories & Articles Section Editor
Deadlines? Staff Member #716 laughs at your deadlines.
He’ll fuck you up with his hamster-style,
then eat your favorite cereal. He’s that badass.
Email 716 |
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Das
Bork, Workshop Section Editor
I once saw Das Bork run the 50-yard dash in four
seconds flat. Then he took off his pants, and
gouged a cat’s eyes out. Show ‘em,
Das Bork!
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Bork |
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Sal
Swayzo
Sal teaches English to penguins. And she draws
us pictures. Not of penguins.
Email Sal |
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Jeremy
Scott
Jeremy once walked out to his car in the middle
of the night while he was sound asleep. I'm not
kidding.
Email Jeremy |
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Franklin
Furter
If you asked me, this dude is packing a little
more than plain old Virginia tobacco in his pipe.
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Franklin |
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Smokin'
Joe Blow
Our very own Deep Throat. Not in a porno kind
of way. In a “government secrets revealed”
kind of way. Only he doesn’t reveal any
government secrets. So, technically, he’s
nothing like Deep Throat.
Email
Smokin' |
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Hellkat
Yeah, we've got a cat working for us. What's the
big deal? She's quiet, potty-trained, and cute
as a button. And we like referring to her as the
pussy of TLC.
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J-Mil
By day, J-Mil is mild-mannered J-Mil. By night,
he is still J-Mil. You thought I was
gonna say he was a superhero, huh? Dork. Superheroes
aren’t real.
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Amanda
Morley
Amanda does this thing with a pencil and paper,..
oh, mommy. It's so hot! Gets me kinda moist. Wha?
No, you pervert! She DRAWS with it. Girls don't
put pencils there.
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President
George Dubya Bush
The man needs no introduction. Nor can he spell "introduction."
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