SCHWARZENEGGER WINS; CALIFORNIA LOSES
reporting by insane wayne chinsang
illustration by monkeybe

LOS ANGELES, CA - Austrian-born actor Arnold Schwarzenegger won the California gubernatorial race last month, when he beat out existing California Governor Gray Davis, who was recalled by voters.

In a related story, California is expected to start suffering as soon as Schwarzenegger is sworn into office.

When asked about the election results, California stated, "Fuck."