BALTIMORE, MD - A recent survey by the Bloomberg School of Public Health at Johns Hopkins University found that low to moderate drinking causes the human brain to shrink in size.

The study's findings also supported prior beliefs that heavy drinking causes brain atrophy, as well as shrinkage.

The study evaluated 2,000 patients, ages 55 and,.. um,.. can someone get me a cookie? I'd really like a cookie. Or a bagel. But,.. ah,.. what was I writing about? Whatever.