NAGASAKI, JAPAN - Researchers at the famed Masahiko Science Institute in Nagasaki have conclusively proven the heretofore unsubstantiated theory that cocks rock.

"Yes, it took much study and research," explained the Institute’s namesake, Dr. Akiyama Masahiko, "but we have scientifically proven that cocks do indeed rock."

Many tests and surveys were done, showing that 100% of gay males and 75% of straight females are pro-cock.

"Is this science?" challenges Masahiko. "Yes, I would say it is. We needed hard data to,.. heh heh. Hard. Tee-hee." Dr. Masahiko then burst into a giggling frenzy and went back to his lab.