LEXINGTON, KY – Last Wednesday, Edmond Porker publicly announced his newfound vegetarianism, and that he no longer wants to be known under the moniker of the "Little Piggy Who Ate Roast Beef".

Porker made the decision after hearing from his doctor that his cholesterol had skyrocketed from the amounts of roast beef he’d consumed over the years.

Parents everywhere were shocked by Porker’s announcement, wondering what they would now tell their children when they get to that third toe.

Porker’s suggestion was: "This little piggy ate a Boca Burger."