This month I sat down and had an ever-so-pleasant chat with Hollywood star, Kevin Pollak. You may know him from such hit movies as A Few Good Men, The Usual Suspects or, my personal favorite, House Arrest.

darby: What’s next for Kevin Pollak?

Kevin: Well, I’m on a nationwide tour. I’m also co-starring in Dr. Dolittle 2 with Eddie Murphy. It comes out in June.

d: As a voice?

K: As a person and also a voice. They asked me to do this scene with Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, and they wanted me to do the voice of the crocodile. They had a sneak preview that played in theaters this winter and they didn’t like the voice in the trailer. So, they asked me to come in and make it more of a “crocodile” voice.

d: Are you the Gatekeeper?

K: Am I the Gatekeeper? Definitely not. I don’t know why you’re asking me that.

d: Paper or plastic?

K: Plastic, because it’s easier to carry for me. And I’d rather burn down plastic trees than wooden ones.

d: Mr. Roper or Mr. Furley?

K: I’m going to go with Roper to block.

d: Who is Keyser Soze?

K: If you knew Kevin Spacey you would know that he is, in fact, Keyser Soze.

d: Cats or dogs?

K: Cats, because they bury their own shit. Any animal that is that considerate moves to the head of the class.

d: Kevin Spacey or Mr. Spacely?

K: Mr. Spacely all the way! Spacely Sprockets!

d: In your professional opinion, do dogs have lips?

K: Well, I don’t know if it would be a professional opinion. That would suggest that I’ve worked with dogs. In my personal opinion, um,.. Jesus. I can’t believe I’m taking time to try and answer this. You know what? Who fuckin’ cares.

d: What CD is in your car right now?

K: Now that’s not a bad question. I wish I had a great answer. (impersonating William Shatner) That would shed some light on who I really am. Sadly, I’m hooked on NPR. I haven’t listened to a CD in a long time.

d: Favorite movie of all-time?

K: Of all-time? Shit. Well, I hate to sound like every other knucklehead, but I guess it would have to be The Godfather.