TOP BIN LADEN AIDE MAKES DEMAND!
reporting by osama baggadonuts

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Federal officials revealed yesterday that NBC network affiliate WOPK-Poughkeepsie received a videotape from an anonymous source, featuring a recorded message from Mohammed Al-Fayez Hasid, one of Osama Bin Laden's top aides.

In the taped message, Hasid proclaimed that Bin Laden and his al Qaeda/Taliban officials would be willing to call off their bloody Jihad against the United States and its allies, and discuss a peaceful resolution. The lone stipulation, however, is that they are only willing to talk to famed NYPD Police Detective John McClane.