Of course, the day that I send out a word count cap on reviews for Entertainmental (300 words, if you\'re curious), I get a goddamn four-disc set that catalogues 25 years of hip-hop and rap. Damn.
How in the hell am I supposed to review four CDs-- some 50 songs-- in 300 words? Especially since I\'ve already used up 61 with this part alone.
\"You don\'t have to worry about the word count,\" said Vinnie Baggadonuts, Entertainmental section editor.
Too true. This is my McDonald\'s, after all.

Wayne: So, tell me something that is new with you.
Mercedes: Well, let\'s see.
Mercedes: Oh, here\'s Stephanie\'s story that I was telling you about before.
Wayne: Go for it.
Mercedes: So, she\'s been chatting on the Internet with this guy for a few months now. Maybe half a year. They met on a dating service! Haha! She was in Vienna, he was in San Francisco. Anyway, they talked, liked each other, started talking on the phone, etc.
Wayne: And now they\'re married!

Strange thing about coffee.
It’s great when it’s hot.
It’s also great ice-cold.
But it just sucks lukewarm.
That’s gotta mean something, man.

I gotta say, The Academy didn\'t get off to a very enjoyable or even listenable start with its first track, \"The Proverbial Unrest\". It\'s about three-minutes of what sounds like background noise, water pouring, clickety-clacking of glasses, and some mumbling and beeping, all leading to a loud bunch of noise... ugh. Unrest, indeed. Was that the point? Fine. But it\'s not much to listen to.

Have you ever imagined yourself in your own shitty, mid-Nineties\' teen movie about the oddball nerdy guy at school who turns popular by the end of the film? Well, shit, dude! Have I got the soundtrack for you! It\'s Piebald\'s newest album, titled All Ears, All Eyes, All The Time, and it\'s filled with 15 tracks of generic pop rock that will fit into your film perfectly.

Player One: Staff Member #716

Indie music doesn\'t get much more indie-sounding than Blood On The Wall. This trio of music fans apparently hooked up at a used record store and started a band. There\'s no posing here. These are three music geeks (not an insult) who are just making music they like, and obviously having fun doing it.

Yo. Beats McGee here. No time for intros, kids. If you don\'t know who I am, then go back to sleep. Let\'s look at some records.
1. MF DOOM - Metal Fingers Presents: Special Herbs Vol. 5 & 6 (Metal Face Records)

Have you seen the new Cisco commercial, where an unsupervised kid \"accidentally\" unleashes a worm into her father’s company network?
Well, you’re not missing anything, because it sucks. However, it does help point out why kids whose parents don’t beat them on a regular basis should never be allowed out of the house, let alone brought to work.

Driving into work this morning, I got stuck behind some idiot who hasn’t quite got the hang of driving yet. Wrong turn signals, weaving in and out of his lane, braking for no apparent reason... you know the type. I’d say he\'d been drinking, but that would be insulting to actual drunks.
No, this guy was a dipshit of the highest magnitude. And it wasn’t just his lack of driving skills that clued me in. It was also the fact that he was sporting a \"JESUS IS MY CO-PILOT\" bumper sticker.