It's been years since the last Fountains of Wayne album, Utopia Parkway. I bought and dug it, just like their self-titled debut. It'd gotten to the point where I was afraid they'd never release another one. Then, at the last tastes like chicken staff meeting, the Heaven-sent angel known as Insane Wayne Chinsang glided down the stairs with a promo copy of their new CD, Welcome Interstate Managers, in his arms!
I tried to play it cool, but failed miserably. "Ooh, ooh! Is that the new Fountains of Wayne?"

I wish I knew what "kosher" meant. I’m not Jewish, but I’ve heard Jewish folks talk about "kosher" things from time to time. From what I’ve gathered, it means that something is allowed, or follows guidelines for being okay. I’m not really sure.
Anyway, the label responsible for releasing Offcell, a five-track EP from the SoCal duet known as Pinback, is called Absolutely Kosher Records. That’s why I was wondering. So, if you’re a Jew, chances are you’re allowed to listen to this album on the Sabbath or what have you.

I remember the days when anything that Epitaph put out would simply fucking rock. But in these days of commercially-viable pop punk bands, I get really squeamish whenever I hear that old familiar formula of verse-chorus-verse. Add in a growling, yet sing-songy, lead vocal, toss in a couple well-timed breaks, and, POW! You’ve got the next top ten record, and its available at each and every Wal-Mart and Target. It’s a bummer, really, that such a personally important genre of music has simply sold the fuck out.
Oh yeah. The CD review,.. right.

Remember the short-lived phenomenon known as At The Drive In (ATDI)? You liked them, didn’t you? They made you feel like music wasn’t in the creative rut that radio Top 40 would have you believe it is. ATDI split up for who knows what reasons. There were rumors about personal differences among the band; next thing you know, the team split up.

After two years away from the work force, I finally landed an advertising job with a major architectural coatings organization that is part of a larger billion-dollar conglomerate. I am slowly becoming reacclimatized to the general inefficiency of a large-scale organization. A prime example: two weeks ago I received a dubious email from a mysterious benefactor named "XMS Report Team". Ignoring the general wisdom that dictates why one never answers an email from an unknown source, I opened it anyway.

WALT DISNEY MAY HAVE BEEN A CROSS-DRESSING NAZI PEDOPHILE, BUT HE SURE KNEW HOW TO TURN SOME HALF-ASSED DOODLE OF A RODENT INTO AN EMPIRICAL SOURCE OF ENDLESS INCOME. OF COURSE, HE’S VERY DEAD, AND CAN’T REALLY ENJOY ALL THAT FILTHY LUCRE. KEVIN CORNELL, HOWEVER, IS NOT DEAD. NOR IS HE A CROSS-DRESSING NAZI PEDOPHILE. AND ONCE YOU’VE SEEN HIS WORK, YOU’LL HOPE THAT HIS MULTI-FACETED RENAISSANCE MAN APPROACH TO THE VISUAL AND COMMERCIAL ARTS WILL MAKE HIM RICHER THAN DICK CHENEY A LA HALIBURTON.

THEY'RE NOT CELEBRITIES. THEY WALK PAST YOU ON THE STREET, BRING YOU YOUR FOOD AT A RESTAURANT, AND LIVE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD. THEY'RE EVERYDAY PEOPLE. JUST LIKE YOU.
JULY 2003: JOSH MILHOUSE
DIM ROOM, NO MUSIC, AND LAVA LAMPS. THE SWEDISH PHRASE FOR THE LEVEL OF COMFORT IS "HIGYE"; IT'S A WHITE CINDER BLOCK CELL, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, WITH A FEW PERSONAL BELONGINGS PLACED HERE AND THERE. IT IS CLINICALLY CLEAN, AND VERY QUIET.

Look, Maury. I ain't messed with Dakeisha in a long time. We was livin' together wit her momma, but she kicked me out back in December, because she a ho! We ain't messed around since Kwanzza!