HARRY SHEARER IS A CHARACTER IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD: ACTING AS, VOICING, AND WRITING THEM. NEXT UP, DIRECTING THEM, IN HIS LATEST FILM TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S CUDDLY LITTLE TEDDY BEAR, BETHANY SHADY, GETS THE WHOLE STORY.
bethany: You directed a new film coming out titled Teddy Bears’ Picnic. What is the film about?

THIS DATE WITH DEBBIE WAS QUITE A SURPRISE...

For years people have celebrated St. Patrick's Day with no idea what the day stood for. But now tastes like chicken brings you the truth to this holiday. St. Patrick: the patron Saint of Ireland. What do you really know about him? Did you know that his name wasn't Patrick? Or that he wasn't even a Saint? His real name was Maewyn. Until the age of 16, he considered himself a pagan. You know, those guys in goatskin pants in Dragnet. It’s hard to believe that Tom Hanks has won two Oscars, with skeletons like that in his closet. What was I talking about? Oh, right. St.

Have you ever seen a sad millionaire? I didn't think so. Do you know why? Because money is the key to absolute happiness. Think about it: extremely wealthy people have no problems. They're seated first at restaurants, have the best tickets to all events and don't have to worry about lower-income troubles like housekeeping or child-rearing. We have manservants for those sorts of things! I mean, you can't expect us to sip century-old merlot and dine on duck al'orange with a couple of rugrats in tow! To be wealthy, you need to maintain a presence on all A-list social gatherings.

WAUKESHA, WISCONSIN (AP) - The once peaceful suburb of Waukesha, Wisconsin, known for its delicious butter burgers and fine custard, has joined the growing number of villas worldwide to be touched by the unearthly killing power of Yanni.

It was 1991, and I was home from school early. Operation Desert Storm had been underway for weeks, and there were tensions in the small town I inhabited. Downtown, by the courthouse, there were throngs of working class men and women standing close to the street, smoking cigarette after cigarette, sticking their chests out proudly. "Support our troops!" they'd yell as other people drove by.

One time I skateboarded eight miles to put a rose on this dame's stoop. It was a sticky August night eleven years ago and the time was about 4am. I had just finished my paper route and was feeling exceptionally amorous. For those of you who are too young to remember the old urethane skateboard wheels, let me learn you some. They were not designed to roll over rocks; in fact they were designed to stop upon the smallest object and propel the rider forward with tremendous force. And back country roads were not designed to be debris-free.

At 31, I got my first speeding ticket. My disappointment wasn't in receiving the ticket, but in the knowledge that I could no longer be as careless behind the wheel; that I was no longer impervious to the law's scrutiny if I could allow myself to be caught. I not only thoroughly enjoy speeding, but in a weird way it's also a constant reminder of my mother and how she taught me to drive. She handed down the family lead foot and schooled me in the fine art of evading capture if I was driving too fast. Speeding was a bond between us.

I (noun)
• Me
• Crazy girl/woman
• Prone to 3am phone calls
AM (adverb)
• At this moment
• Your perception
• My relation to your perception
A (indefinite article)
• Single
• Only one
• Insignificant
DRUNKEN (adjective)
• Vodka Tonic
• Gin and Juice
• Tequila
• Can't find my car
WHORE (noun)
• Random encounters
• Searching for my reflection
• In the empty gaze