Ring-a-ling, ling! Talk to ME! Hahahaha. Man, is that funny! That guy is the best writer y’all have at the Tapes Like Children.
Sorry I couldn’t pen you up another piece of complicated prose like I usually do. I’m holed up in the Ovary Office with Colon and Dick. Wait. That didn’t sound right. You want to know a secret? The only reason I let Daddy’s friend Dick be my Vice President was because I wanted people to say, “Hey! There goes Dick and Bush. That Dick and that Bush are running America!” Juvenile? Yes. Funny? You bet your National Security it is.

THEIR WORKPLACE IS AN OLD FURNITURE FACTORY. BUT THERE AIN'T MUCH FURNITURE COMING OUT OF IT THESE DAYS. JUST GRAPHIC DESIGN. GOOD GRAPHIC DESIGN. PAY ATTENTION TO THE ARIAL 9 PT, AS FORMER FACTORY DESIGN CO.'S NAND DUSSAULT AND ANDY HAYES GIVE TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S VINNIE BAGGADONUTS THE WHOLE STORY.
Vinnie: How did you two goons meet?

PHYLLIS DILLER HAS GABBED AND GUFFAWED WITH SCOOBY-DOO AND BOB HOPE. SHE'S EQUALLY ADEPT WITH A MIC AND A BRUSHSTROKE. AND SHE TOOK TIME OUT TO SPIN A WILD-WIGGED YARN WITH FPHATTY LAMAR.
Fphatty: I heard your house is haunted. Is this true, or did I hear wrong?
Phyllis: No, that's a press agent's idea. His line was, the house was haunted until the night I tried on all of my wigs. (laughs) I have a wig room. People go in there and have a heart attack. The walls are lined with wigs.
F: Well, I guess if you're going to do it, you have to do it right.

NEARLY THREE YEARS POST-SOUL COUGHING, THIS FORMER LEAD SINGER/GUITARIST IS STILL PLOWING HIS WAY THROUGH A VAST MUSICAL LANDSCAPE. DIG YOUR FEET INTO THE FLOOR AS WAYNE CHINSANG ASKS SOME SUPER SPECIAL QUESTIONS OF THE SLANKY ONE HIMSELF, MIKE DOUGHTY.
Wayne: With your new album, Smofe + Smang, you seem to strip everything down to the bare essentials. Was it hard to give the audience Mike Doughty without having to rely on being “The Ex-Soul Coughing Guy”?