To every hardcore toy collector chomping at the bit to complete his collection, one thing strikes fear in his immortal soul: The Dreaded Exclusive. Brrrrr! Yes, it eventually happens to every popular toyline. One figure is singled out to be an exclusive, and is sold to one store only. This store can control the amount of production to drive up demand and price, forcing all those obsessive bastards to pay outrageous third party prices. Yes, we have to! It was only a matter of time before the most popular toyline on the market would follow suit: The World of Springfield, by Playmates Toys.

Sometime last fall, I discovered Galactic for myself, right between Peter Gabriel and Godsmack at my local metropolitan library. If I could do it again though, I would like to have discovered them on the small stage of a poorly-lit, smoke-filled, bourbon-soaked bar in New Orleans. Somehow, that just seems more fitting. Galactic is a sextet masterpiece, comprised of some of the finest musicians in their genre and compromising nothing when it comes to laying down the snake-oil slickness that is their musical artillery.

THOSE EPITAPH-ENLISTED SWEDES DO IT AGAIN!

I was one of those kids who didn't put up a struggle when it came time to wake up and get ready for school. I liked it. My brother and sister, however, did not. So while I waited for them to get ready, I'd sit in front of the television. What was on? News at first. Then Looney Tunes. That's what I dug. That's what my dad dug. Sure, he'd gander at the morning headlines. It was part of his duty as a grown-up.

This particular Freak Film is special indeed, as there's a good chance it'll be the only film featured here that has won both an award at the Cannes Film Festival and an Oscar. Don't be frightened, fellow Freak Film freaks-- this pic is still pretty wrong.

Let’s look at the facts, shall we? National Lampoon’s Van Wilder is a movie about a rich white frat boy (is there any other kind?) whose wealthy father refuses to pay for another wasted semester. It’s a film from the never-say-die folks at National Lampoon, which in Greek means “box office poison.” Gee, I can’t wait. Actually, I can. That was sarcasm, which, if you are in fact a frat boy, you probably didn’t get. But you should get this soundtrack. With the exception of three songs, which I will praise in a few sentences, this disc blows.

February is the month that Hollywood unloads its leftover shit from the year before. Case in point: Rollerball. This God-awful film was slated for a summer release. However, it got bumped to February, on account of it being a steaming pile of dog shit. I think this is the first action movie I've ever seen where you can't see any of the action! Kind of a bad thing when the movie is about a sport, and you can't see what, if anything, is going on. Next on the shit list: Slackers, originally titled Cheaters.

I'm asked regularly what comics I would want to have with me if I were stranded on a deserted island. My answer is always the same: Hustler Comix (or Penthouse Comix). Hey, you did say it was a DESERTED island, right? However, if you want to know what current superhero title is my favorite, I'd have to answer JLA. I'd also answer JSA. At any given point for the last few years, these two team books, both published by DC Comics, have held the top spot on my reading stack.

So you're walking along some sunny Jamaican shore when you stumble across an old, sealed plastic container. You open it. Inside: an apparent master recording. One of those reel-to-reel deals. You go into town, to find the nearest recording studio. The engineer agrees to play your newfound treasure for you. He's just as curious as you are. The first thing you hear? The echoed "singjay" vocals of Jamaican superstar Sister Nancy. Then the music kicks in. Crystal clear quality.

Sid & Marty Krofft were television producers from the ‘70s who turned us into potheads come Saturday morning. And now, thanks to Rhino Home Video, you too can relive your acid-dropping childhood days. Aside from H.R. Pufnstuf, the three-disc set (titled The World of Sid & Marty Krofft) also includes Sigmund & the Sea Monsters, The Bugaloos, Far Out Space Nuts, Magic Mongo, and who could forget Electra Woman & Dynagirl. I myself remember all these shows, and can't believe that this was acceptable children's programming!