"You’re twenty-five, dude," Mack was saying. He had a point. He also had a pointless comb-over. Made no sense. He wasn’t bald or even "-ing", but his hairstyle of choice looked like a comb-over. Strange, but to each his own.
I shrugged as we approached the small Ernie Reyes Karate Studio in the strip mall. "I’ve always wanted to learn, you know?"
"Yeah, but don’t you have to start out as a kid to become a master?"
"I don’t need to be a master. I just wanna, you know, be more,.. coordinated, and--"
"Do flips and high kicks and whatnot," Mack said.

Jem: Is this Vinnie?
Vinnie: Yep.
J: Vinnie, do you taste like chicken?
Both: (laugh)
V: Dude, that’s the foulest thing anyone’s ever said to me in an interview.
Both: (laugh)
J: Sorry. I had to ask. (laughs) So, how are you doing today?
V: I’m good. How are you doing?
J: I’m great! I’ve got a bit of a hangover, but I think that’s a bit rock 'n' roll, so all’s fine.
Both: (laugh)
J: I’m all good.
V: How many more interviews are you doing today?
J: Ummm,.. actually, I think you’re the last one.

El sat on her bed by the window at the far end of her dorm room, struggling through the second to last chapter of Tracks by Louise Erdrich. While she was normally an avid reader, she hadn’t shown much enthusiasm for the book, and had put off the assigned reading until an hour before her Women’s Lit class began. Spring sunlight filtered through the oak leaves outside, casting a yellow evening glow into the room that would normally have been perfect for reading.

Vinnie: Man, I gotta tell you, She’s in Control is amazing.
Pee Thug: Thank you, man. Thank you. I saw the review you did. It was cool, man. Thanks a lot.
V: If you don’t mind, I gotta go back to the very beginning. I read that you’re from Lebanon.
P: Yeah.
V: When did you come over to Canada?
P: I was born in Lebanon in '77, and came to Canada in '85, so I was eight years old.
V: Was it a family move?

LOS ANGELES, CA - Retired journalist and current Californian First Lady, Maria Shriver, issued a statement this week demanding that Democratic nominee candidate, Senator John Kerry, cease impersonating her in public.
The statement quotes Shriver as saying, "I am the true nemesis of Eternia! I, and only I, shall lead my evil army down from the highest peak of Snake Mountain to defeat that blasted He-Man, and forever rule his precious Eternia! Castle Grayskull will be mine!"
Senator Kerry’s camp could not be reached for comment.

Tina,
I returned after a long weekend, tired, sleepy, and hungry. I check my email, and, to my surprise, there is an email from you! How great is that? It's pretty nice of you. Now, to business. Please do not stop writing The Shia Mailbag. What would the older fans laugh about? You are really funny, and great at what you do. What is hilarious is that they have not figured it out yet. I thought that this generation of girls were smarter. Anyway, thanks for the mail. Oh! Can you change the picture in your column? He does not look like that anymore.
- Vimbela
Hey Vimbela,