Exodus 8:2 - "And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs."
In every generation there are films that define us, that define the future of cinema. Films that may not be universally loved. In fact, it is often the case that the film is simply too far ahead of its time to be understood by everyone. But, as time goes on, there is no way to deny the impact that they have had on films that have come since.

Lights Out Asia’s Garmonia is a middle-of-the-night car ride soundtrack. It's the songs you imagine yourself composing when scrolling through all the different patches on an awesome keyboard you can never afford. It’s an embryonic journey of mellow tunes that would not feel out of place on an episode of The X-Files.
The samples and atmospheric music combine together to create a great nighttime soundtrack that may remind you of Enigma, Sigur Ros, and Depeche Mode. This reverb-soaked meditation is a great disc to work, drive, or make sweet love to.

D.J. KIRKBRIDE-STYLE
This CD review has been problematic from the very beginning. At the big CD handout/pork roast for this month, Watchman and I both reached for The Sleepy Jackson's Lovers. At the same time! Our leader, one Insane Wayne Chinsang, sagely decided to cut it in half, Bible-style, giving one half to each of us. But Watchman and I both said, "No!" at the same damn time, thereby ruining Chinsang’s Biblical solution. So Wayne, being a busy man, said, "Fuck it. Both of you review the thing."

PEPE, BEING A CHIHUAHUA, CANNOT TYPE. SO HE RECORDED THIS CD REVIEW INSTEAD. HERE IS THE TRANSCRIPTION:
Pepe: (clears throat) Okay. Testing, testing. One, two, one, two,.. tree?
Okay, hello dere. Dis is da Pepes. Many of you may know me as Latta de Saint's dog. But also, I'm a big fan of music! And, it just so happen dat Wayne Chinsang and Vinnie Baggadonuts got dis CD by a band called Le Pepes, and dey thought, "Hey! Why not give it to Pepe?" And I cannot disagree wit dem.

AT THE TENDER AGE OF 15, LEOPOLD ROSS ALREADY HAD HIS HIGH SCHOOL BAND SIGNED TO SONY RECORDS. SINCE THEN, HE HAS GONE ON TO DO SEVERAL PROJECTS WITH HIS BIG BROTHER, UBER-PRODUCER ATTICUS ROSS, INCLUDING MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACKS AND THEIR LATEST ENDEAVOR, THE INDUSTRIAL-PUNK NIGHTMARE KNOWN AS ERROR, WHICH FEATURES MEMBERS OF THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN AND BAD RELIGION. NIGHT WATCHMAN CAUGHT UP WITH LEO TO FIND OUT THE HOWS AND WHYS OF THIS SOON TO BE LEGENDARY BAND.

Oh, boy! The past couple days have been hell on Earth. Possibly the worst, most scorching case of diarrhea I have endured. It felt like liquid magma was pouring out of my colon! On top of that, my anus felt like Mount St. Helens: incredible pressure building up to dangerous levels, threatening to blow my entire ass apart in multiple feces-soaked pieces. I have seen better days. I am feeling better now, though. At least I didn\'t shit in my pajamas like last year. Now, on to the business,...

I must be living in a hole or something. I had no idea that they were making a Catwoman movie. I had no idea they had cast that hot mulatto hit-and-run piece of ass, Halle Berry as the titular character. I also didn't know it is going to be a porno flick. If you only click on one link this year, it has to be this one.

Player One: Staff Member #716
I need a girlfriend,.. badly. Read on to find out why.