Robert Riche\'s book The Vision Thing inserts former U.S. President Papa Bush and his lil\' son, current President Georgie-- as well as a slew of other politician types, many of whom I\'ve never heard of-- into this fictional story of a fairly regular non-politician named Bill Brock who receives a surprising invitation.

Ah, The Shore. Here they come. Four thin, long-haired crackers who look like a rock band. And they are. I mean, they don’t rock like, uh, Bon Jovi or White Lion or something. No, they rock delicately and sensitively. Kinda like, well, Coldplay maybe? But not that delicate. And not, I don’t think, British, which is a good thing. Seriously. Don’t be offended, Brits. I mean, come on. You know I’m telling the truth.

Heralded by many critics as one of the best albums of 2004, The Streets\' A Grand Don’t Come For Free left me feeling extremely frustrated. Ultimately, the bad outweighs the good for me.

The Stand-Ins\' Clean Slate is a hard-rocking, only occasionally-prodding collection of guitar-driven tunes. It sounds like it could’ve been released back in the mid-Nineties. If it had been, I might’ve picked it up at the local record store while spending my grocery-bagger\'s paycheck on albums by the likes of The Meat Puppets and Urge Overkill.

Through the years, I’ve listened to a lot of pop-punk bands try and be as cool as The Ramones were. But rather than succeed, they merely became tonal copycats, mimicking the sound, but never the genuine playfulness.
Until I met The Soviettes.

I normally don\'t have a soft spot for whiny whiteboy music, but Simple Kid seems to take that cliché and kick its ass with his newest album, 1.
Granted, each track does contain his sometimes whiny, Dylan-esque voice, but Simple Kid makes up for it with hip electronic sounds, bouncy beats, and folkie acoustic rhythms, creating a hybrid of sound somewhere between The Beatles\' Magical Mystery Tour and Beck\'s Mellow Gold.

1. Chocolate For All Dogs
Dogs suck. Why do people feel the need to have a dirty, slobbering, extremely needy animal in their house? I cannot stand when someone\'s dog runs up and starts jumping on me and licking me with its funk breath. I say we mobilize and have some sort of Project Mayhem shit going on and make sure all the dogs of the world are fed as much chocolate as they need in order for them to croak. Or we take them to the local Chinese restaurant and let the Chinamen do what they want with them.
2. Furry (Dry-Roasted) Peanuts

This month’s Panels was especially hard to write, considering how much I hate comics right now. Office politics and bitter feuds are something the fans should never be forced to face. Let me explain.
After their soon-to-be 24th issues, Wildstorm titles WildC.A.T.S. and StormWatch: Team Achilles will be cancelled.

When I lived in Ohio, I heard about this fairly average, kinda mediocre rock band named Watershed. They had one major label record years ago and are still a big draw in Columbus, Ohio. Turns out Milwaukee has their own version of Watershed called The Obsoletes. Their new album title asks, Is This Progress? To which I answer, \"Uh, nope.\"

Player One: Staff Member #716
I’m sure my fellow staffer D.J. Kirkbride would be pleased to know that Hattori Hanzo is a playable character in Samurai Warriors... if only he knew who Hanzo was.
Hattori Hanzo was undoubtedly the most famous ninja in Japan’s history, having been portrayed in countless martial arts movies, as well as a fair share of video games. And yet nearly nothing is known about him. Almost his entire life was a secret; it’s remarkable that there is even a record of his existence at all! How much more ninja can you get?