Dear Kelis,
Wow! It's been, like, four years since your first album. Now here you are on your third! It's too bad that neither of the first two were released in the States. I'm sure that means they were totally awesome, not totally lame. I was sooo impressed by your innovative lyrical genius in "Caught Out There": "...I hate you so much right now! Aaaargh!" I mean-- just, wow!

Wow! 2003 was quite a year. There were so many high quality toys released, it was enough to put anyone without the strongest will power in the poor house. Now, with the promise of a new year in front of me, I've decided to reflect on 2003, remember its bounty, and herald the four best toy lines of the past year. Why a top four? Well, a top ten seemed way too long, and I am way too lazy to do a top five. So, without further adieu, I give you “Jeremy Scott’s Fabulously Frolicking Fantastic Foray of Formidably Formed Toys”! (Damn!

It's January. You know what that means? Yep. It's time for yet another installment of our Annual TLC Millennium Awards. Oh, stop yer fucking crying.
MAN WITH THE LEAST SPINE OF THE MILLENNIUM: DEREK CULLIGAN OF OMAHA, NEBRASKA - Derek let his wife paint their bedroom lavender, and hang lattice-- complete with silk flowers-- on their wall.
CHILDHOOD MEMORY RAPIST OF THE MILLENNIUM: (TIE) GEORGE LUCAS AND MIKE MYERS - George for those shitass prequels and constantly fucking with the original trilogy. Mike Myers for The Cat In The Hat.

Vinnie: How’s all the feedback you’ve been hearing about the album been?
Diverse: It’s been, for the most part, overwhelmingly positive. There’s definitely been a couple bad seeds, man. But, for the most part, it’s been a higher percent positive.
V: What’s it like having an album out? That’s something I’ve never done. What’s it like having one out and having everyone be into it?

PHANTOM PLANET IS A GROUP OF LOVABLE, ROCKIN’ SCAMPS FROM CALIFORNIA. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THEIR HIT SINGLE, “CALIFORNIA”, OFF THEIR LAST ALBUM, THE GUEST. WELL, NOW THEY ARE BACK WITH A BRAND-SPANKIN’-NEW SELF-TITLED ALBUM, A ROUGHER SOUND, AND A KICK-ASS VIDEO FROM DIRECTOR SPIKE JONZE. READ ON AS D.J. KIRKBRIDE CONDUCTS AN EMAIL INTERVIEW WITH PHANTOM PLANET’S GUITARIST, JACQUES BRAUTBAR, TO GET THE SKINNY ON THEIR MUSIC, THEIR VIDEOS, AND THE WHOLE NINJA VS. PIRATES DEBATE. SERIOUSLY. DIG IT.

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, PEOPLE OF EARTH! ASHLEY FONTENOT THROWS BETTER PARTIES THAN YOU. SHE HAS BETTER LOOKING GIRLFRIENDS THAN YOU. AND SHE GETS TO PHOTOGRAPH IT ALL FOR A LIVING. OUR VERY OWN MISTER SISTER SITS DOWN FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST UP-AND-COMING EROTIC PHOTOGRAPHERS IN THE BIZ, AND TALKS ABOUT FEMINISM, SEXUALITY, AND WHY SHE’S BEING CALLED THE "FEMALE HUGH HEFNER". SHE'S SMART, FUNNY, AND SOOO SEXY. WILL SHE MARRY US? READ ON AND FIND OUT.
Mister Sister: So how does it feel to photograph the hottest women on the planet for a living?