She nestles her head deeper into her pillow as I prop myself up on my elbow, careful not to wake her, watching the gentle rise and fall of the sheets as she breathes. I'm so lucky to have her. How many people can say that they've found their perfect match? How many people can say they've found anyone at all? She shifts again, turning her head toward me slightly, and I smile. Her eyes are closed; those beautiful beads of enchanting ocean blue hidden from me. I'm so lucky to have her, because she's so beautiful.

TICK
for moments of deep empathy
conceived by miscarriage and widows
TOCK
for still being too immature for either
of those circumstances (or their counterparts)
TICK
for realizing that everyone is too immature
until after the fact
TOCK
for doing poor work,
regardless of pursuing "normal" avenues
TICK
for time spent suckling the teat of life,
seeking pure and simple pleasures
TOCK
for time spent vicariously not living
through Bukowski or Cohen
TICK

Everything with us has always been complicated. I might as well get that off my chest at the beginning. It isn't that we were drawn to drama; not like those folks you see on Jerry Springer, with their fancy fake nails and their almost non-existent mini-skirts, talking about who they baby daddy is. I think we just found each other at a time of complication and crossroads and turmoil. And then, we added our own. Selfishness, tunnel vision, and the failure of modern medicine created even more of what we were trying to avoid.

Many of my words have gone extinct from the letters, articles, and stories that I once wrote.

Walter stumbled on some loose gravel and turned his ankle. It didn't break or sprain, but was still frustrating enough to be recognized as the last fucking straw. Walter had had enough, and anger swelled through his mind. It wasn't bad enough that his white trash neighbors had decided to start working on their so-called "hot-rod" at 4:30 in the morning, but his damn pillows had been lumpy all night as well, leaving Walter with an achingly stiff neck with which to greet another muggy, hot, Ohio summer day.