FROM FOUR WHEELS AND CONCRETE TO TWO REELS AND CELLULOID, JASON LEE HAS TAKEN TO EXPANDING HIS HORIZONS, EXPANDING HIS PARAMETERS. INSANE WAYNE BREAKS THE ICE WITH LEE ABOUT ROLES, BOARDS, AND HIS BRAND-NEW FOUNDATION.
Wayne: This month our cover story was written by President George W. Bush. In the story he lists things he wants to blow up. If you could blow up anything, what would you blow up?
Jason: Bad architecture and the suburbs.

SEPTEMBER'S FUN FACT:
For the first time in zookeeper history, no one, and I mean no one, wanted to see this bear between these bushes.

Radio is dead. After years of glorious groundbreaking history, American Radio has died.
A spokesperson for Radio stated, “Radio’s untimely death was brought on by DJs too pussy to play anything not on the corporate-imposed playlists.”
The spokesperson was immediately restrained and castrated by a team of Clear Channel executives.
Allegations of XM's involvement in the death are yet to be confirmed, but sources say that for the low price of $10 a month (plus equipment and installation fees) you'll soon forget all about "free" radio.

Call me crazy, but I think there's a whole lot of white people in this neighborhood. More than I'm comfortable with, to tell you the truth.
Now, don't go pegging me as a racist. I got no problem with white folks. Hell-- I married one! But Jesus, this neighborhood looks like the casting call for a Starbucks commercial!

There's a reason the head cheese at the British Petroleum Home Office elected me Corporate Employee of the Year for the seventh consecutive year in 2002: because I pump gas like nobody's business. “But, Hector,” you say, “why would I have you pump my car full of choice British Petrol when good God's America is full of cost-efficient self-service stations?

Boring professors got you down? Are you tired of doing stupid and unfair homework assignments? Would you rather be drinking heavily and randomly fornicating with other people of your own particular intelligence group? Well then drop the hell out of school. I paid good money for this class, and I would like to learn and better myself. If I wanted to listen to morons complaining about moronic problems, I could watch Maury for free.

FAIRFAX, VA - Charlton Heston, Oscar-winning actor, six-time president of the Screen Actors Guild, and president of the National Rifle Association, announced August 7th that he has been diagnosed with a degenerative brain disease.
Heston, 78, released a video statement to the public.
“I have been faced with a large hurdle to overcome,” said Heston. “But I refuse to let this affliction keep me from holding my position as president of the Nasty Rutabaga Army. Vive la France!”

Season's Greetings, my patriotic lambs!
G-to-the-Iz-eorge here. Is it Show and Tell Day? 'Cause I got something to Show, and Tell! What I'm 'bout to show you is my list of things I'd like to blow up, Terminator-style! Blow jobs, if you will. It's all in good fun. Like the time Jeb (or "Jeb-i Knight", as we used to call him on the playground) and I dropped lit M-80s in the toilets back at Uncle Jessie Elementary School when we was kids. Man alive, if you've never seen a gigantic Old Faithful of man-dookie, you haven't lived. So here's my list, which I wrote all by myself!

It's the new Guttermouth album!
Let's begin with an excerpt from "Pee In The Shower", track #6 on Guttermouth's August 13 Epitaph release, Gusto:
"Just because I live like an animal / room smells like a petting zoo / sometimes I go pee in the shower / does not mean I don't love you."

Ever heard of Lee Hazlewood? Me either. Ever heard one of the 300 songs Lee Hazlewood has written? Chances are you have. Lee Hazlewood, known mostly for his songwriting in the ‘60s, is having a comeback thanks to the kind folks at Astralwerks. If you haven’t heard his name before, you’re probably more familiar with some of the artists that have recorded his music: Elvis Presley, Dean Martin, The Jesus And Mary Chain, and both Nancy and Frank Sinatra.