This is why I like Time:

Older, wiser, and-- aw, fuck. I can’t do it with a straight face. Are these girls 12? Or are they the brilliant composers behind the earliest days of K.I.D.S. Incorporated? You know, I actually had a K.I.D.S. Incorporated vinyl LP when I was little. It was a bunch of cover tunes, because those kids really couldn’t write an original song if their spandex and lycra depended on it. It might have been my brother’s, though. I really wouldn’t admit to owning something as gay as that.

I don\'t need no goddamn press release to tell you about the band formerly known as Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (who have shortened their name to simply \"Blues Explosion\"). And I don\'t need no glossy photos or slick-as-fuck packaging (although, the new album\'s slick packaging was designed by Chip Kidd) to win me over. All I need, friend, is the music.

Note to all up-and-coming punk rock bands interested in sending me your CD: check out Sammytown Jones. This is the kind of stuff I like-- tough, fast, growling, diesel-fuel-and-fried-chicken good-time punk rock. Screwed Again is their six song EP, showcasing exactly what happens when you do a shot of whiskey-country spirit and wash it down with a gallon-jug-sized punk rock chaser. Just check out the 100mph “Headless Corpse” or the punktry slowdance of “No One’s Cryin’”, and tell me I’m wrong.

It’s weird: I’ve been helping make this magazine for almost seven years now, and until recently, have never gotten much soul music. Not that there’s much out worth talking about. Until recently, it was serious slim pickin’s. But now, I’m getting really fuckin’ excited about finally getting some good stuff to talk about.

When you receive hundreds upon hundreds of CDs a year to review, it\'s easy for things to get lost in the mix. There have been many a CD-- hell, many a review that I\'ve written-- that are now and always will be lost in the hairy abyss that is my brain. Of course, if I really love or hate something, I\'ll remember it. But most of what I hear literally goes in one ear and out the other.

The Frog Tape (Skin Graft Records) from the New Orleans-based one man band known as Quintron is not one of those CDs.

Kirkman.

Brings to life The Walking Dead

Kirkman

And Invincible

His books I’ve read

Though there are more

To be told

It’s these two

The plots of which

I will unfold

GAHHH! What the fuck am I doing?! Yeah, I’d originally intended to write this month’s Panels entirely in prose, but goddamnit, who wants to read that? Not me, that’s for sure.

Note from 716: Since I’m running later this month than Britney Spears’ period (would that be a \"Speariod\"?), I\'m turning over the honors of \"Player One\" status to my highly unstable co-conspirator, Das Bork. Do me proud, you lunatic, while I try to figure out when the hell my deadline is. I\'ll be back later.

Player One: The Letter \"Bork\"

The Militia Group\'s first DVD compilation showcases a mix of indie powerpop bands like The All American Rejects, Copeland, and Thursday, as well as hardcore bands like Static Lullaby, Eighteen Visions, and Sick Of It All (yeah!). These videos are not too flashy, just well lit, well directed performances. The Mike Pappa\'s cover art, as well as his work on Sick of It All\'s video \"Relentless\", make it totally worth it.

The Spider Who Never Gave Up is a touching short story given to us by an endearing young man named Travis Flores. Travis has had many hurdles to overcome in his short life, and hopes this book will serve as inspiration to any downtrodden individual who is trapped in an inescapable well of self-pity.