She flinches when someone raises their hand near her. She has bruises that she tries to hide with make-up, sunglasses, her hair. This didn't happen because she's clumsy. And there's nothing she's done to deserve this. That's absurd.
It infuriates me. I want to find him. My "friend". Confront him. Hurt him like he hurts her. And worse. Much, much worse. He does deserve it.

Think what you like. I'm just going to stand here at this window and look out into another grey afternoon. You can call it "laziness" or "lethargic", if you wish. "The quality or state of being lazy or indifferent," would be an honest assessment of me right now. But I just don't have a whole lot left in me.

Going to a rock 'n' roll show typically means going to a venue to see the band live. When the show ends, the venue will still be there. Unless you go to a Friends Forever show.
Friends Forever is a strange little rock duo that brings their show and venue to your town. You heard me right: they bring their venue, too. These young dudes from Denver, Colorado travel the country in a crusty orange van that serves not only as their means of transportation, but as their stage, as well.

That's right. You heard me correctly. Later on this evening I will be making sweet, sweet love to you, whether you're laying right there next to me or not.
You see, I noticed the way you looked up at me when you scanned my can of baby peas. Did I notice that it incorrectly rang up as being $1.59 instead of the correct price of $1.99? Oh yeah. I noticed. And I knew that was a sign that you were down.
And, yes, I saw how you weighed the cucumber I got from produce, naughty girl. I know you knew I saw you. You know I know you knew. And I know all of that, too.

AH, THE DARK COMEDY THAT IS MY LIFE. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THINGS WERE LOOKING TOGETHER AND MATURE HERE AT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN, MY INTERVIEW WITH MUSICIAN JOLIE HOLLAND HAPPENS. BUT NOT EVEN SCHEDULING MISCOMMUNICATIONS AND DEAD TAPE RECORDER BATTERIES COULD STOP US FROM HAVING A LAUGHING GOOD TIME. READ ON, AND SEE WHY I’M CUCKOO FOR CATALPA.
Vinnie: I heard you had a little incident today.

NADA SURF IS ARGUABLY BEST KNOWN FOR THEIR HIT SINGLE "POPULAR" FROM A FEW YEARS AGO. THEY'RE ON TOUR NOW, SUPPORTING THEIR CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED NEW ALBUM, LET GO. DUE TO SCHEDULING PROBLEMS, MY INTERVIEW WITH THEM HAD TO BE DONE VIA EMAIL. THIS IS THE FIRST ONE OF ITS KIND THAT I, D.J. KIRKBRIDE, HAVE DONE, SO IT WAS WITH A LITTLE TREPIDATION THAT I EMAILED SOME RETARDED QUESTIONS TO THE BAND. LUCKILY, DRUMMER IRA ELLIOT WAS CHECKING THE EMAIL, AND RESPONDED WITH EQUALLY RETARDED (AND FUNNY) ANSWERS. SERIOUSLY, HE SHOULD WRITE FOR THE PAPER.

CRAIG CLEVENGER'S FIRST NOVEL, THE CONTORTIONIST'S HANDBOOK, IS THE BOOK CHUCK "FIGHT CLUB" PALAHNIUK CALLED THE BEST HE HAS READ IN FIVE YEARS. IT'S ALSO ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS THAT I, D.J. KIRKBRIDE, HAS READ IN ALL MY 26 YEARS. HERE, I TALK WITH CRAIG ABOUT THE BOOK, SWIM FINS, DODGING CREDITORS, AND MORE.
Craig: I was checking out the website just a little bit ago.
D.J.: Sweet.
C: Sort of cramming before the big test. You write a lot of CD reviews.
D: Yeah. I do, I guess.
C: How'd you get stuck with this?

DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Nearly three years after the fact, Wall Section #277 of the Daytona International Speedway is still waging a heated financial court battle with the Earnhardt Estate and several of its merchandising distributors.

ELYRIA, OH - The mother of four-year-old David Kirkpatrick suspects her son of doing something that he knows he shouldn't have done.
"He won't admit to anything," said the bereaved Mrs. Kirkpatrick, "but I can tell he knows he's done something naughty."
The mother of three theorizes that the shenanigan committed could be anything from eating a crayon to flipping a booger on a wall.