What stands at 4' 9" and has a penchant for monkey cocks and asses? No, not a primordial dwarf in a Linda Lovelace movie. It's Tara Espinoza! She's a little newt of a printmaker, but don't let her diminutive size and giggly manner fool you. There's a lot more than Barney Goes To Cambodia going on in Tara's creative mind and artwork. Ms. Espinoza's recent body of work could be described as playful. Yeah, playful in that "Is that Fievel The Mouse wearing a strap-on?" kinda way.

I like my country music old-timey, honest, and ornery as a rattlesnake. Rockabilly has to be like dinner at the ‘Dube: greasy, dirty, but oh so tasty. This disc captures both. The beautiful packaging alone is a thrill. It’s nice to see that a few bands pay attention to this lost art form. On their disc, Honor Among Thieves, the X-Rated Cowboys do a fine job paying homage to their influences with tight commitment. Musically these cowboys know how to rock. Willie Phoenix lends his skills to “Goth Girl”, leading me to wonder where all the goth girls have gone now that Insomnia is no more.

RECOGNIZE THIS? OF COURSE YOU DO. YOU'VE SEEN IT SOMEWHERE. ON A STICKER? OR A SHIRT, PERHAPS? HOW ABOUT A WALL? A PUBLIC WALL. PLASTERED. HUGE. IN YOUR FACE. COVERING A BILLBOARD. STENCILED ON A LAMP-POST. IT'S A PART OF YOUR CULTURE. IT INVADES YOUR SPACE. IT MAKES YOU THINK. IT MAKES YOU QUESTION. THE MAN BEHIND THIS CURTAIN? SHEPARD FAIREY: THE STREET ARTIST BEHIND THIS OBEY PHENOMENON; ONE-THIRD OF THE GRAPHIC DESIGN ENIGMA THAT IS BLK/MRKT; AND THE WILLING PARTICIPANT OF A TASTES LIKE CHICKEN PHONE INTERVIEW WITH VINNIE BAGGADONUTS.

SHE LIKES THE NIGHTLIFE! SHE LIKES TO BOOGIE!

As I was sitting on my sofa, watching Olympic figure skating, chain-smoking Parliaments, eating no-bake cookies like it was my job, and telling my roommate what a fat ass that Russian bitch Chunky Slutsthickasmygrandmaschristmasfudge is, my intelligence was once again attacked in my own home by our oh-so-savvy and street-smart media. You know the commercial I’m talking about: blah, blah blah, kid making a pissed-off face with a voice-over by his dad telling us that his son (GASP!) knows people who smoke marijuana, but his fucking kiss-ass of a son doesn't.

RAISED ON A STEADY DIET OF OUTSTANDING COMEDY, COMEDIAN EDDIE GOSSLING STRIVES FOR EQUAL GREATNESS. DARBY O'GILL LEARNS HOW HE HONED HIS CRAFT, AND TESTS HIS MATH SKILLS.
darby: Eddie, how and where did you get your start in comedy?

WHERE OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES POSTAL AND GETS FRANK WITH KNUCKLEHEADS IN HIGH PLACES.
This month frank wrote to the "hipsters" at MTV.
Purveyors of Pop Culture,

DARBY: IT'S AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVID CROSS.
WAYNE: WHO?
DARBY: DAVID CROSS.
WAYNE: WHO?
DARBY: THE GUY FROM MR. SHOW WITH BOB AND DAVID.
WAYNE: NEVER SAW IT. WHAT ELSE IS HE IN?
DARBY: READ THE FUCKING INTERVIEW.
darby: What does sperm taste like? Oh man, I'm so sorry. I had two sets of questions; this set was for the whore out in front of the theatre, just in case we didn't get to interview you. I'm so sorry. Here we go. The David Cross questions. That's so embarrassing. First question: What does sperm taste like-- ah-- let's just skip that one.

APRIL'S FUN FACT:
Congratulations to Rosie O’ Donnell on braving public opinion and coming out. Coming out, and admitting that she is a fucking asshole.

VATICAN CITY (AP) - At a press conference, Elton John and the leaders of the Catholic Church announced a new public service campaign.
The campaign will deal with the pressing issue of Catholic priests and their boy lust. Elton has done his part by rewriting yet another of his classic hit songs.
Performed by Elton and a choir of priests, the new song is titled “Don't Let Your Sons Go Down On Me”. The new song will be played at the beginning of Catholic masses for the next month.
No word on a world tour yet, but the priests say they’re, “ready if Elton is.”