NYC to LON, FLT 74, 8F
I never buy first class, I accept any flight at any hour, and I purchase my tickets over the Internet three legs ahead from no less than two countries behind.
I average 29 hours each revolution and hit my stride somewhere around hour 58. Now I\'m part of the process, part of this thunderous flying beast that drinks heavy fuel and breathes rare air. The pilot could no more leave the ground without me than he could take off without wings on the aircraft.
LON to TKY, FLT 121, 18A

ROGERS, AK - Mega-super store Wal-Mart is being sued by an applicant, and the claim uses one of the dirtiest words in litigation: discrimination.
Kerry Multon, 28, is filing suit, claiming he was not hired as a Wal-Mart cashier because his interviewer was prejudiced.

TOPEKA, KS - The citizens of Topeka are abuzz about a contest the local Dairy Queen franchise is currently promoting. But Topekans aren\'t the only ones excited about the free Blizzard grand prize. National attention was drawn to the contest when a poster outlining the contest\'s rules was hung in the store window. The poster states: \"You too can win! Enter today!\"
Needless to say, the famous Irish rockers are extremely excited about the possibility of winning.

JOEY GOEBEL KICKS ASS! NOW, THAT MAY NOT BE THE KIND OF DESCRIPTION THAT FITS MOST NOVELISTS, BUT IN JOEY’S CASE, IT’S TRUE. WHETHER HE’S WRITING SONGS, SCENARIOS FOR CWA WRESTLING, OR NOVELS LIKE HIS LATEST OPUS, TORTURE THE ARTIST, GOEBEL COMBINES FRESH NEW VIEWPOINTS WITH A RARE KIND OF TALENT. NIGHT WATCHMAN GOT A CHANCE TO CHAT WITH GOEBEL ABOUT WRESTLING, WRITING, AND RALPH MACCHIO... AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHERE IT GOES FROM THERE.

WHEN YOU GET AN EMAIL ASKING \"DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO CHAKA KHAN TOMORROW MORNING?\" YOU DON\'T SAY ANYTHING BUT \"YES.\" CHAKA KHAN IS A LEGEND. AND HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET TO TALK TO A LEGEND? VINNIE BAGGADONUTS TOOK HER UP ON THE OFFER, AND GOT THE QUICK NITTY-GRITTY ON EVERYTHING, FROM HER BRAND-NEW ALBUM TO SINGING WITH SOME PUPPETS.
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Congratulations on your honorary doctorate.
Chaka Khan: Thank you very much.
VB: When did you find out about that?
CK: Oh, a couple months ago.
VB: Really?
CK: Yeah.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO TOM BROKAW\'S BROADCAST! (STREAMING MP3)
Good evening. I\'m Tom Brokaw.
It was announced Tuesday that after a 24-year run, the completely talentless and utterly useless professional hack known as Dan Rather will step down in March 2005 as anchor of the news program CBS Evening News. Public reaction to Rather\'s announcement, as was expected, has been a total and sweeping lack of care.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A panel of anti-porn advocates told the U.S. Senate at a hearing Thursday that Internet pornography is corrupting children and hooking adults into an addiction that threatens their jobs and families.
Mary Anne Layden, co-director of a sexual trauma program at the University of Pennsylvania, stated, \"...pornography’s effect on the brain mirrors addiction to heroin or crack cocaine.\"

GOD, YOU\'RE COOL
God, God, oh, God
You are the bomb
You are not dumb
I like to chew gum
Oh my God
That actually rhymed

---

SO, LIKE, UM... YEAH
So, like, um... yeah
Like... um
Yeah... you know?
So, ah... like
Like, right, right?
Sure

---

ONE TIME I WENT TO A ZOO
I saw a monkey
And a donkey
It was a good time
But they wouldn\'t let me ride on the train
They said it was for kids only
Don\'t they fucking know who I am?!?
I\'m goddamn Britney Spears!

Dear Franklin,
My name is Timmy, and I am now in the sixth grade. My parents don\'t like me looking at your site, so please don\'t tell them. I have a problem, and I was hoping you could help. Last week me and my best friend Josh finished our project on the book The Grapes Of Wrath. When the teacher announced the grades, we got the highest one. But instead of cheering for us, all of the kids started laughing, and now they won\'t talk to us at lunch. How can we get things back to normal again?
- Timmy Anderson, Mrs. Fairchild\'s English class, Plumcreek Middle School

Check this shit out.
I was about eight years old when I made my first communion. I come from a large Italian-- but more importantly to the story, a large Catholic-- family. Your first communion is a big deal.
Anyway... I’m about eight years old, like I said, and I was in Sunday school after-school, which means that after you get out of regular everyday school, learning about math and spelling and science and shit, you have to hightail your ass all the way across town to make it to another school, to learn about God and Jesus and Heaven and shit.