Never judge a band by their size. Shortie's Worthless Smiles is a disc that will grow on you. It's a nice balance of post-hardcore, post-punk rock, post-something else with melodic, pop-influenced, hook-filled choruses. It's nice to hear a band that I don't automatically lump in with a scene or genre. Shortie has their own sound.

Whenever a movement in music happens, there are always a few core bands that start things moving. They come up with the sound that defines the genre. After that initial definition, a plethora of other sound-alike bands start to seep out of the woodwork. Then the seeping becomes a trickle, the trickle a steady stream, then something breaks, and there is a flash flood of bands that all sound the same. It is the music business. It happens for every new thing, be it butt rock, grunge, nu-metal, boy bands, etc.

We pushed our way through the lobby of the hotel, valiantly ignoring the flirtatious giggles of the evil cheerleaders, and stepped into the muggy, damp Florida night. I had worked so hard to cool down, but immediately burst into sweat within moments of setting foot outside. I was unperturbed because I knew the ladies at City Walk would find a wet, pasty white boy oh-so-attractive.
"Wow. I thought Steve sweated a lot," Eric remarked.

Hello, girlfriends! If you can hear my voice above the thump, thump, thump of the driving dance beats, then you already know that I'm listening to the new DJ Keoki disc, Keokiclash. If you're one of the beautiful plastic people, then you already have it! If not, then you're a bitch! For real, girl!

The Weakerthans, according to their bio sheet, are "Sonically located in the finest tradition of Punk." Notice that's with a capital "P". After listening to their third album, Reconstruction Site, I find myself wondering how many real Punk bands play vibes and fuckin' glockenspiels.

I’ve never actually read an American Splendor comic book. I’ve heard of it, but never picked up a copy. After seeing this movie, I just might. That’s probably the main reason American Splendor writer/creator/subject Harvey Pekar decided to do this movie. That, and a fat paycheck.

1. That a vampire by the name of "Jeff" preferred to have iced tea over soda with his chicken patty sandwich. Because, you know, iced tea is so “goth”.
2. That Captain America-- who, contrary to popular belief, is really a 350-pound black man that likes chocolate ice cream cones-- does not wear spandex pants, but sweatpants,.. with pockets.
3. That as long as you're sitting behind a table that says "Jim Mahfood" on it, people will ask you to sign Jim's books. Even if you don't look like him and couldn't draw a straight line to save your life. Like me.

OMAHA, NE - David Tullerson, 32, was flattered by an email he received last Thursday that promised to add at least three extra inches to his cock.
"I received it Thursday morning from a man named Erik Valentine," said Tullerson. "Now, I don't even know this man, but he was kind enough to send me this email to let me know that there were things that could be done to make my cock bigger."
Tullerson, who self-admittedly has a small cock, was completely taken aback by the email.

FORT WAYNE, IN - Seventh grader Derek Walinski,13, was excited to get back to school last week when he saw a Target commercial for back-to-school supplies and clothing.
"You know, I really wasn't all that excited for summer to end," said Walinski. "But then I saw that Target commercial, with the notebooks, pencils, and folders, and I thought to myself, 'Man, I can't wait to get back to school!'"

BALTIMORE, MD - To appease the black community, the NAACP has created an African-American version of sitcom star Kelsey Grammer.
“For too long it has been assumed that certain characters and icons in American culture were white,” said Board of Directors member, Marjorie R. Green. “This is simply not true. We are trying to turn that thought process around, and feel that making an African-American version of Kelsey Grammer is a step in the right direction.”