The phone was ringing. It was 2:45 in the morning. Caller ID let Phil know that it was his friend Dylan calling from his cell phone. It could only be one of two things: Something really bad, or something really dumb. Maybe Dylan just needed to have his drunk ass driven home. Phil knew it probably wasn’t that easy.
“Hello, Dylan.”
“Dude, I got some bad news.”
“What’s up?”
Dylan sounded really upset. “Listen, you sitting down, man?”
“I’m in bed and want to be asleep!”
“Shit, dude. I feel bad being the one to tell you.”
“Just tell me what it is, Dylan.”

I remember a time when riots were a video clip from a far-off country shown on CNN. I’d shake my head and think, “Man, what a shitty place to live.” Today those video feeds are live via our backyards. What start as peaceful demonstrations escalate into destructive riots. There are assemblies I consider joining if only to meet chicks, but I wisely stay rooted in my easy-chair waiting for the highlights on the news. The reason I don’t give a shit about your cause is because there will always be some asshole that throws a bottle or a rock. This makes the police combative.

When I was 19 life suddenly became a joke. Before that everything was very serious. I had plans and desires. I had wanted to be chronically well-dressed, envied and overpaid. I wanted everyone in America to know my name and the face that went along with it-- beautiful, careless and unattainable. I wanted to be a myth, smothered in heavy, old-fashioned glamour. I wanted everything surrounding my immediate environment to be pure luxury-- so much luxury that I would consider it downright annoying at times.

Looking for something to do this summer? Well, here are two very different options. First, those crazy ekoostik hookah kids are up to their shenanigans again with the 15th installment of Hookahville. This year the fun happens at Frontier Ranch in Kirkersville, Ohio on Memorial Day weekend (May 25th through the 27th). And they’ve got a great line-up of acts this year. In addition to two nights of ekoostik hookah fun, Hookahville XV features live performances by The Radiators, Donna the Buffalo and the Dirty Dozen Brass Band.

Once upon a time there was an ogre named Shrek, who had no booty to call his own. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s a little crude for a kids’ movie.” But let me tell you, this is no kids’ movie. You’ve heard of kid movies that adults will also enjoy, but this is an adult movie that kids will also enjoy. Shrek is DreamWorks’ fifth animated film and by no means their last. How can it be with an all-star cast like Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and John Lithgow?

STOMP has made Columbus a regular stop on their tour schedule for the last few years now. If you’ve seen them before, you know what they’re all about. If you haven’t, you probably really can’t picture it. Sure, I or anyone else can tell you that they make music without the help of conventional instruments. Anyone could tell you that they “bang on stuff.” But none of that really does it justice. They get the crowd involved and, more importantly, they make you want to create music with them. You can’t help but leave STOMP and feel the urge to bang on shit when you get home.

I thought it was pretty sweet when I, vinnie, received a package in the mail from some people named “The Vincents.” And when it turned out to be a CD, that was even sweeter. Nothing beats having free music sent your way. Well, nothing beats having good free music sent your way. The Vincents are three guys I would not want to piss off in a dark alley. Even if they are the most harmless, non-violent creatures to ever walk the Earth, their songs have me convinced otherwise.

I know what you're thinking: “Out of the many films that span ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper's film career, which two are the best?” Fool! There is no question that of the films and TV appearances Roderick Toombs made perfect by the mere presence of Roderick Toombs (aka Piper), Hell Comes To Frogtown and They Live are obviously the best. They Live is a sci-fi action thriller starring Piper as Nada, a badass drifter-dude extraordinaire trying to survive amidst an Orwellian installment of the Reagan Years (Christ, that gives me a chill).

Lynn was trying to listen to what Kyle was saying. She caught some of it and could piece together that he was working on his newest painting. Unfortunately, Kyle had some obnoxious music playing on his stereo that was stealing her attention away. The music was like a bad car wreck. She’d been in the studio with Kyle for ten minutes now, and so far the only thing she could concentrate on was how if the music playing had some drums in it to cover up the horrid vocals, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
“Goddamn,” Lynn thought to herself. “How many times can this guy sing about being alone?”

I discovered the award-winning films of Ellie Lee because I have an enormous crush on a girl named Judy Budnitz. Miss Budnitz wrote two books I consider to be some of the best I've ever read. And Miss Ellie Lee made a film based on one of Miss Budnitz's stories. Dog Days is Lee's most recent work and her first fiction film. Based on Budnitz's story of the same name, it follows a young girl and her family's struggles to find food in a war-torn town. She is befriended by a strange homeless man who believes he is a dog.