If you're a fan of horror or cult films and you haven't seen Carnival Of Souls, you should be shot. I'm not talking about the shitty remake Wes Craven-produced which had nothing to do with the original 1962 film by Herk Harvey. A couple of frat rats challenge a girl and her two friends to a drag race. The guys, eager to avoid being out-driven by girls at any cost, force the girls off a bridge and their car is sucked under by the muddy river beneath. Only Mary Henry (Candace Hilligoss) survives.

CREEPER LAGOON'S TAKE BACK THE UNIVERSE: Creeper Lagoon’s press release starts off by telling us how “crazy” and “wild” the members of this excruciatingly bland quartet of San Francisco wuss-rockers are. After a “mind-expanding” romp of mushrooms, booze and illicit narcotics early last year, the band supposedly put together their best album to date, Take Back the Universe (And Give Me Yesterday). If by best they mean the worst goddamn urinal cake of an album you’ll ever hear, I would whole-heartedly agree.

ORGY: Where can you combine hardcore, synth-pop, metal, and sci-fi in perfect unison? At the Orgy show last month! Alien Ant Farm, Spineshank, and Orgy performed a killer show at the Newport. AAF blasted off with their unique style and child-like antics. Along with their cover of “Smooth Criminal,” they ruled the beginning of the show. Spineshank, and their mind-drilling songs, churned the pit into a sweat-soaked frenzy. This loyal bot got his fair share of kicks and hits. But I’m used to it, because Wayne beats me all the time.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MEET THE SOUL-FU VILLAINS. THEY'RE ARMED WITH SOUL POWER AND CAN MAKE YOU SHAKE YOUR ASS, BUT THEY SHOULD NOT BE STOPPED. THE WORLD NEEDS TO BE THOROUGHLY FUNKED UP. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S VINNIE BAGGADONUTS SPOKE WITH LOS, NUMERIC, SCOTT AND CLINT DURING A BREAK BETWEEN SETS.
vinnie: You guys have so much fun on stage. Some bands, they're like--
Los: --Goin' through the motions.
v: Yeah! But you guys are always laughin' and shit, and the whole crowd digs it. Is it always like this?

COME ONE, COME ALL. FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE FAIR MAIDEN OF FREE WILL, LIZ McGRATH. SHE'S AN ARTIST, A MUSICIAN, AND SHE LIKES CHEAP BEER. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S HUMAN FREAK SHOW, DEBBIE, INTERVIEWED HER. PROBABLY BECAUSE HE'S SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER.
debbie: Seeing as how L.A. is a pretty large test market, you’ve probably tried the newest beverage to hit store shelves -- beer. What’s your opinion of this miracle elixir?

It was released last Wednesday that television commercial actor Scott Brinker, appearing in the new Rally’s “Big Chicken” commercials, has never eaten at Rally’s.
“It’s swill,” said the 27-year-old beefcake. “Look at me. I’m fit. I’ve got a full head of hair. I don’t live in my parents’ basement. And I get laid. Do I fucking look like I eat at Rally’s?”

WHERE OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES POSTAL AND GETS FRANK WITH KNUCKLEHEADS IN HIGH PLACES.
This month frank wrote to the people at THE BEER MACHINE! Yummy!
Dear Beer Buddies,

TRUE STORIES OF HEROES' BRAVE BATTLES
BRAVE SOUL OF APRIL 2001: DAVE CHAPPELLE


This month we sit down with Dave Chappelle, star of movies like Half Baked, Con Air, Blue Streak and Screwed.
darby: Could you share one of your very brave moments with our readers?
Dave: Well, I talked back to a cop in Missouri once.
d: Missouri?!?
D: That’s where the brave part comes in. I didn’t know he had been following me for a while.