POEM ONE:
I am drunk,
You are a punk.
Eat a dork with a fork,
You taste like raw pork,
I like to huff skunk.
POEM TWO:
Pineapple guts,
Eat off Chewbacca's nuts.
Hot wax on my ass,
Raw sex in the grass,
Ride a pony like a klutz.
POEM THREE:
Hot shit,
Throw a fit.
Marbles roll,
A hockey goal!
Rub my clit.
POEM FOUR:
Candy apples,
Bingo raffles.
Riding black dogs,
Cell phones are for hogs,
Rainbow Brite dazzles.

I have a hard time choosing what superpower I would most like to have. I’d like to be the Flash, because then I could race down the street at supersonic speeds and clothesline people. That would be pretty cool. Even better would be to be able to fly like Superman. Except for the fact that you’d show up on radar, and the government wouldn’t like that. They would shoot you down and interrogate you. The Silver Surfer would be a good choice, but sort of pointless; you’d just cruise around like the guys on CHiPS all day.

Some asshole keyed my car last week. So I spoke to a guy I know who might be able to help. I told him what happened and he said he knew a “friend of ours” who could fix it like new and take care of the little prick who keyed it. I said, “Really?” And he said, “Fugettaboutit,” and took a bite of his cannoli. I knew I had spoken to the right man because, after all, he is Italian, and all Italians are connected to the Mafia. What a bunch of shit! I’m so sick of hearing anti-defamation groups bitch about how their ethnicity is portrayed in the entertainment industry. Shut the fuck up!

It's like the old car game from childhood. Staring out the window at the rushing landscapes and following, with your eyes, the flowing rhythm of the power lines that are animated with the passing automobile. It all becomes a surreal experience and time down-steps. Hours pass by within minutes. Years become seconds, and the next thing you know you've become too old and serious for your own good. You look up and the lines are still there. Crowding your sky and keeping you grounded. They remind you that there is always someplace to go. They lead you in the direction of away and over the horizon.

I rearranged my room again today. I usually do it about once a month. I have to do it. It’s an obsession. The anal-retentive part of me does it in order to straighten things up and to get organized. The other part of me-- the part that gets bored easily and needs constant stimulation-- rearranges in order to have a new room, a new space to live in, another new start to life, I guess. I was actually informed only a few moments ago that I might have to rearrange my things again,..and into another apartment.

I stopped and watched until the smoke died down in the distance. I felt like an idiot. I had just committed suicide. I was going to die out on some lonely highway. So this is fate? But what are you going to do about it? Start regretting everything the minute you’ve jumped off the cliff? No, thanks. I decided I’d just walk on and see what the hell turns up. If it’s death, then hallelujah! I obviously had a fair hand in it. If it’s a pick-up truck with a bunch of innocent farmers, then God be praised. I’d take that just as well.

One look at the cover tells you that Uncle Sam is a graphic novel well worth reading. Author Steve Darnall uses comic book sensibilities to portray America's original superhero as an icon tormented by the ugly truth of democracy and blind patriotism. Darnall takes us on a journey through the mind and insane ravings of a homeless man in today's frantic society. His discovery of who he is and what he represents are painfully revealed through flashbacks depicting the atrocities of America's past and present, in the name of democracy and patriotism.

Spring Forward is an independent film you absolutely must see! It's about a young man just released from prison, and an older man ready for retirement. They both work at a Parks and Recreation job in a small New England town. Over the course of 12 months, they learn the meaning of life from each other. It's a film about the human sprit. I know it sounds hokey as hell, but you have to believe me: this is one of the best films I've seen this year. Writer/director Tom Gilroy brilliantly uses dialogue as a way to move the film along, giving the characters the life and depth they deserve.