Guy Ritchie, aka “The Guy Doing Madonna,” just wrote and directed this new movie, Snatch. First off, this movie has nothing to do with snatch. In fact, there weren’t even any women in the film! Needless to say, this film was nothing like I thought it would be. Not that I’m a pervert or anything. I just had my heart set on a different kind of movie at the time. With a name like Snatch, one would only expect a skin flick to remember. But this movie didn’t have any of that! It would have been a total rip, if it wasn’t such a great film. That’s right, Snatch is great!

If you weren’t in attendance at the opening of the Wexner Center’s Suite Fantastique, you missed quite a bit. Not only did DJ Spooky spin a set for the crowd, but admission was also free. And did I mention the glowsticks? Suite Fantastique is the first exhibition of 2001 for the Wexner. The five galleries are filled with a design and arts extravaganza. Gallery A houses the work of California-based Imaginary Forces. Featured are seven works of movie opening credits created by the graphics firm.

There just aren't enough rock and roll cartoons. Ralph Bakshi's American Pop comes to mind, but Pop is as stale and ill-conceived as Cool World; both a far cry from masterpieces like Heavy Traffic and Wizards. However, at the top of this thematic ant hill is Rock 'N' Rule, a painfully rare but highly entertaining 'toon. It must be very boring being the glam rock equivalent of Michael Jackson in a futuristic world where rats have evolved to be the dominant lifeform on Earth.

An underground organization of crime fighting custodians; a super-potent strain of cocaine; a big bootied lawyer getting dissed by her fuck buddy; the ever mystical element of martial arts. Are these the key points to the plot of Hidden Weasel, Crouching Blow Fiend? Of course not. It’s the Stovetop Stuffing inside Askarihodari, the latest comic work from artist/writer Glenn Brewer.

Hey there, kids! I found a little something a while back I thought you might find interesting (and just as hilarious as I did). Located deep within the bowels of the Internet is a Flash creation entitled Radiskull and Devil Doll, one of the newest and most unusual web creations to be spread out there. Radiskull and Devil Doll are the devilishly twisted creations of California-born, Joe Sparks, a professional computer programmer and animator. By messing around with Macromedia Flash, he created a skull that spoke with a laid down voice track.

Everyone knows Buddy Guy. He is to music what Bob Barker is to game shows. What Andy Warhol is to Pop Art. What Ron Jeremy is to fat, nasty, hairy porno. Well, not exactly like that, but you get my point. On Thursday, March 1st, the blues legend graces the Newport Music Hall. Buddy Guy was making blues music back when your grandparents were twenty-somethings. Born George Guy in Louisiana in 1936, Buddy grew up with influences like T-Bone Walker and Otis Hicks. Now, after nearly 50 years of making music, Guy has become just as legendary a musician as his influences.

Do I get to do water aerobics with old people? That would be so cool! What about synchronized swimming? Is there a synchronized swimming team? I could get a sweet floatational Evel Knievel suit with sparkly shit all over it! I could be the star of the team! I bet if I trained these old people really hard, we could get a traveling show together! We could play Vegas, and eventually (if the old people didn't die) we could be world famous! Is synchronized swimming an Olympic sport? I bet we could kick the Olympic team's ass, and then we would go and totally rule the Olympic games!

EDITOR'S NOTE: This by no means applies to every truck driver in America. Just the ones that nearly sideswiped our dear, embittered vinnie. We apologize to the few of you who do drive cautiously and courteously.

TRUE STORIES OF HEROES' BRAVE BATTLES
BRAVE SOUL OF FEBRUARY 2001: BECKY THOMPSON


This month we talk to a very special person that has overcome great adversity and turmoil. Becky Thompson was a 19-year-old kid, trying to hit a goal weight of 83 pounds. This would normally be the start of our tale, but Becky overcame her bout with Bulimia. However, like most of our tales, the story doesn't stop there...
darby: Becky, you were bulimic?
Becky: Yes.
d: But you’re not anymore?

I was pulling up my stockings when I heard that all-too-familiar "ppphhccchhhtt!" noise. A small crack in the skin beside the front of my thumbnail had snagged the silk. I was a bit dismayed at the frayed fabric, but I was giddy at the arrival of such a perfect picking opportunity. Don’t roll your eyes or feign disgust; everyone loves a ripe hangnail they can pull clean off their finger. You love it! With care, I slid the nail of my ring finger underneath the loose skin and, practicing a perfected technique, pried the dried flap further up. And I dug. And dug. And dug.