The biggest problem with mainstream cinema is its lack of kung fu vampire flicks. In fact, apart from the film The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires by Shaw Run Run and Shaw Run Me (better known as the Shaw Brothers) and Hammer Studios, I don't even think another one exists (please correct me if I'm wrong, as I would be severely missing out).

Thirsty Ear Records, better known for acts like ambient pioneer Brian Eno and singer/spoken word artist Henry Rollins, is trying something a little different with their new line of jazz albums known as The Blue Series. One of the new offerings is New Orbit from Matthew Shipp. Shipp, a master jazz pianist from New York, was an understudy of Dennis Sandole, who also taught John Coltrane. The beauty of New Orbit is in its simplicity. Comprised almost entirely of no more than a piano, bass and horn, there isn’t a lot to get in the way of the simple layers of sound.

It wasn’t listening to the CD that was the problem. It was getting my damn stereo to work. But a trip across town and an application for a Target credit card solved that dilemma. When I finally got to listen to the Death On Wednesday CD, I threw a bunch of comparisons at what I heard. Thing was, I wasn’t far off. You see, I was telling the ol’ vincent baggaDEEZnuts that I thought D.O.W. sounded like a heavier Smoking Popes (who of course sound like a heavier version of The Smiths).

THE WEXNER OFFERS TWO TOP-SHELF ACTS FOR JANUARY

HOW DO THE BEST OF 2000 CD PICKS OF AN MTV PERSONALITY COMPARE TO THOSE OF YOUR FAVORITE ASIAN/ITALIAN ONE-TWO PUNCH? READ FOR YOURSELF:
DAVE'S TOP 10 PICKS OF 2000:


DAVID GRAY, WHITE LADDER - At last, an album for people who have completed puberty, and it’s a hit! If it can pound a few nails into the coffin of LimpBizkitSevendustStaindDisturbedLinkinPark, I’ll jump for joy.
COLDPLAY, PARACHUTES - A debut album that sounds like a tenth album. These guys could be the first important band of the 21st Century.

NO MATTER THE FUNCTION, NO MATTER THE VENUE, A DJ MUST ALWAYS ROCK THE CROWD. AND NO MATTER WHAT STATE HE'S ROCKIN', DJ BIG REG ALWAYS LEAVES THEM ENTERTAINED. DURING A FREE MOMENT FROM SCRATCHING WAX STATE TO STATE, DJ BIG REG SAT DOWN WITH TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S OWN MIXED MASTER, DEBBIE, TO ROCK A SIMPLE Q&A SESSION.
debbie: At what point in your life did you know that you wanted to blaze on the wheels of steel?
Reg: I was 12 and had a choice of getting a motorcycle or turntables. I chose the turntables.
d: And it just went from there?

DEFINITION FROM WEBSTER’S NEW WORLD DICTIONARY:


turd (turd) n. [[ME OE tord, akin to MHG zurch, dung, Latvian dirsa, anus IE base *der-, to split TEAR1]] a piece of excrement: now a vulgar term
Last month, guest writer peter dingle 4 submitted a thought-provoking essay on the humor in poo. What follows is an email from mr. dingle 4 himself; a verbal disagreement sent as an initial reaction to our proofreader’s editorial actions.

AFTER JOINING THE MUSIC TELEVISION NETWORK'S ESTEEMED POP CULTURE RANKS, HE ESTABLISHED HIS REPUTATION AS A MAN WITH ENOUGH MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE TO GIVE EVEN THE SHARPEST OF MUSIC HISTORIANS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S DARBY O'GILL TOOK TO THE PHONE LINES FOR A CHAT WITH THE WALKING MUSIC LIBRARY KNOWN AS DAVE HOLMES.
darby: Let me start by congratulating you on not winning the Be A VJ Contest, but still getting the job. I got so pissed because you clearly had more talent than that freak Jessie Camp.

WHERE OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES POSTAL AND GETS FRANK WITH KNUCKLEHEADS IN HIGH PLACES.
This month frank wrote to the Aussie wife-thief, RUSSELL CROWE!
Mr. Crowe,

TIME TRAVEL IS POSSIBLE. THE MIGHTY BLUE KINGS ARE PROOF. THEIR SOUND IS NOT A JUMP/BLUES REVIVAL. IT IS AS AUTHENTIC AS THE SONGS OF THE ERA IT PAYS HOMAGE TO. AND THEIR FRONTMAN, THE GOLDEN-THROATED ROSS BON, PUTS MORE CLASS AND SOUL INTO THE SPOTLIGHT THAN ANY OTHER FRONTMAN TODAY. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S OWN FRONTMAN, INSANE WAYNE CHINSANG, TALKED TO THE MAN FROM THE BAND THAT MADE THE GREEN MILL FAMOUS.
wayne: What did you do before you became the frontman for the Mighty Blue Kings?