ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA (AP) - Another battle was won this week for the people of Ethiopia when the Ethiopian government passed an amendment making the consumption of food legal.
"This is a great day for my people," said Ufunanu Owesafemi, local tribesman.
The Prohibition of Food went into effect back in the early ‘80s, crippling Ethiopian society. People were forced to create tribal villages in order to survive the law of the land.
"We had to come together as a nation in order to live," says Owesafemi. "Together, we found ways to live through the Prohibition."

IF SKATEBOARDING IS A CRIME, THIS MAN IS DESTINED FOR DEATH ROW. HE NOT ONLY MADE SKATING AN ART FORM, HE MADE IT AN ACTUAL SPORT. AND, AS ONE OF ITS EARLIEST INNOVATORS, HE'S BEEN PROPELLED TO SUPERSTAR STATUS, APPEARING IN PRINT ADS, TELEVISION COMMERCIALS, AND HIS VERY OWN VIDEO GAME. OUR VERY OWN BONES BRIGADE WANNABE, NEOGEO THE PROPHET, SPENT A Q&A SESSION WITH THE LIVING LEGEND HIMSELF, THE ONE AND ONLY TONY HAWK.

WHERE OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES POSTAL AND GETS FRANK WITH KNUCKLEHEADS IN HIGH PLACES.
This month frank wrote to everyone's favorite hair removal system, NADS!

GETTIN' DOWN WITH THE BROWNED!

THE GOOD SON:
Last Tuesday, five-year-old Bobby Zucco began a monumental journey to help his needy mother. Zucco will pedal his tricycle from his home in Sacramento, California to Rockford, Maine, to raise money for dire surgery for his mother.
Yes, Boobies for Bobby’s Mommy (BBM) is turning in to the biggest charity event of the century. Bobby’s mom, Vicki, is beaming with pride.

Astronauts just finished adding the second section to the International Space Station this week. I can already sense the international excitement. As I held my breath, I witnessed the addition on CNN, along with three other people around the world, who were being forced to watch. Why is this thing up there? I mean, there better be a damn good reason to be spending billions of dollars to have this giant phallic Christmas ornament floating above our heads. NASA says it is for better experimentation on humans and microbes and board games or some shit. Why not build it for REAL tests?

The sky fell quickly across his face and soon the bite of November became another normality. In the shadowless gray night that is winter in Ohio, Kile stepped quietly toward his small apartment. The stench of dishwater clung to his chilled hands, and it was difficult to find his keys at the bottom of his jean pockets. Wind-blown, red, and waterlogged, his fingers brought out both apartment keys and the measly wad of tip money the night had procured him.

We’re chin deep in the Xmas season. That’s right, I said Xmas. Not Christmas. Let's face it: 85% of this holiday hootenanny doesn't have shit to do with the birth of Jesus. Capitalist pigs have turned this once joyous Christian holiday into a fucking nightmare. And no one is safe from this Xmas orgy. The majority of us wait ‘til the last minute to shop. Women seem to have this thing licked, but men have long suffered shopping in the Xmas season. Men walk through mall doors with a wad of cash and nary a clue of what to purchase for our loved ones.